DR. Mark is not to be confused with a real Dr. He
is not, I repeat NOT, a real Dr. Although he does play one whenever he can
get away with it. He will probably be upset when he sees this, but he can't
get on this website to change it.
Dear Dr. Mark,
I know you are not a councilor, but I have nobody I can trust with this problem.
When my husband and I were first married, it was exciting. He would bring
home gifts, spend alot of time talking with me, in fact, he wanted to spend
all his spare time with me.
Now after five years of marriage, he comes home, watches T.V., eats dinner,
back to the T.V., then he goes to bed (to sleep). Please help me, I'm
HURT&ALONE
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Dear hurt&alone,
although I am not a councilor I believe I (Dr. Mark) can help you. When he
gets home from work,greet him at the door with an ice cold bottle of Trailer
Trash Ale, wearing only a genuine Trailer Trash Ale t shirt. I hope this helps,
I believe it will.
D.R.M.
Dear Dr. Mark,
It worked, you're a genius, thank you. How can I ever repay you?
No Longer Hurt &Alone
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Dear N.L.H.A.
This is what I'm here for, you are more than welcome. If you really want to thank me, show up at my front door with an ice cold trailer trash ale, wearing only a genuine trailer treash ale T shirt.
D.R.M.
Dear Dr. Mark,
This is dad. Whatever you do don't put my name on there and don't let anyone know I'm your father!
Is that really you in the Superman Costume?
Love,
Dad
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Dear dad,
It was so good hearing from you. I don't suppose I can count on you to pose
for my men of T.T.A. 2005 calender. What superman outfit?
DR. MARK
Dear Mark,
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that live here took the hosue numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week, the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, our Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your Pa out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull himout, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends ran off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralphie was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love, Ma
P.S. I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.
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Dear mother,
If dad calls me DR. MARK I wish you would do likewise. It was quite a
struggle going to school to get this degree, it was the longest three months of my life.
DR. MARK
Dear Mark,
My wife and I have been married for about 9 months. I love her alot, but I just
found out that she will not drink beer. She is a sex machine, but this is a serious mark against
our relationship. What am I gonna do? Why does one love have to cancel another? PLEASR HELP A
BROTHA OUT!!!
name withheld due to fear of wifely reprisals
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Dude, ( name is changed to alleviate fear of wifely reprisals.)
After giving this problem much thought I've come up with two options. The first is this, you are looking at this problem as a glass is half empty. I on the other hand, see this as a glass is half full opportunity. meaning this: the beer is all yours, you don't have to share.
My other thought is this, the human tongue is covered with bumps called papillae
which contain your taste buds. Now as a person ages his or her taste buds die. You did not
mention her age, but it is clear that she is too old for you. (If she is wealthy you might want
to hold on to her.) I believe this answers your question.
Dr.M.